I'm listening to radio 1 and there talking about cancer and death ect..
And there right you never get over loosing someone ,took me years and years to be able to not come to terms with but to realise that no matter what i do or say there never coming back.
I totally fall apart when i loose someone and my life just stopped completely for over 14 years and then i lost someone else and went backwards in how i felt again..but some how loosing the second person made me so much stronger ,how or why i really don't no ,maybe i new they wanted me to sort my life out and while they were here i didn't do it and i wanted to show them i can do it and not let them down.
I think about who Ive lost every single day ,but i don't hold on so tightly and i no i have to carry on..whether i like it or not.
Me not coping with death didn't just effect me it effected so many people around me ,So now i have to make how i was better ,i cant change the way i was but i focused so hard on who id lost i forgot the living .. i regret that but at the time i was unable to cope with anything.
Death is so final ,your powerless to what happens ,its out of your hands .you have anger,sorrow so many feelings its sometimes unbearable ..but life goes on no matter if we like it or not ..
I don't have any answers just never give up hope in anything ,i no that.