Afternoon world :) .... I'm currently listening to trance ,drinking coffee n generally chilling out ..its bliss...
So what have i been up to errr not alot really ,trying to sort all areas out from my brain to my flat cleaning lol well gotta clean out ya brain as well as ya house i say
Music and a good clear out of ya house work wonders for ya mood lol.
Na im in a good place at the moment brain wise ..i needed that feeling shit to make me see things more clearly and for now iam ..might not last but who cares im living for now sod tomorrow and sod yesterday !
I just have to set limits to myself as ive crossed my limits far to offen and i don't want to do that any more as it only screwed with my own head.
I believe in trying everything and living for the moment BUT somethings are a fine line and not to be crossed also ..its a hard one to explain but maybe one day i will how nos...
Oh well back to the trance and really should go out soon as well
well there ya go im still smiling and its Thursday ..woohoo lol .. some bugger will come alone n spoil it bet ya :-P na sod em im happy n noones takin that away from me no more im avoiding all who make me feel crap ..turning over a new chapter in my life and trying to rewrite the ending lol ... :-P
laters x x x x x

Things my father said ..............

I didn't always see eye to eye with my dad but i love him with all my heart and miss him everyday .. just wish i could say so much to him and explain so much .. wer ever you are dad I love you ,i no your watching over me

Random facts

Just see on twitter people adding random facts and i thought oo i have way to many to put on twitter lol so il blog them ..boring i no lol but hey i do waffle randomness so nerrr :-P

So here goes randoms facts about me ...

Ive been a vegetarian for over 16 years

I can put lipstick on with my breasts (party trick lol)

I once see pink floyd in concert & a few 80's groups

I was married 15 years and have a 16yr old son

I have 4 tattoos and 16 piercings

I actually like living on my own now

I have three cats ...lol now i sound like the mad cat women ..aww gawd :-P

Im interested in tarot,crystals,star signs and anything spiritual or anything weird not the norm

I support Chelsea ...but don't hold that against me lol

Im very untidy and a womble really i collect way to much crap !! (but im working on it lol)

I gave up smoking for 8 years ..then started again ... like a idiot :(

I once swallowed a penny when i was about 3

I love being with people and talking and getting no them

I love life now .....finally

I suffered from agoraphobia and depression for 14 years (doesn't mean im mad just means i been there n got the T shirt so now i understand how others feel and now appreciate life more )

i do still have depression but im dealing with it :)

I started training as a diesel fitter then a hairdresser when i left school .. odd combo i no lol

Im addicted to the Internet

I always wish on stars

I believe in after life

I try never to have regrets and live each day as if its my last

I'd love to find love again and be excepted for just being me

Im very touchy feeley person love to cuddle n kiss

Ive always wanted a VW beetle

I collect dragons and buddhas

I dye my hair when im fed up ..lol weeeeeeeeird

Im superstitious

Im a Scorpio and yes a typical one

I always wanted more children but didnt work out that way ,just grateful i have my son hes the best :)

Im passionate about all music

Ive lost 5 stone in 2 years ..still working on it as im still huge (think Dawn French no seriously i am huge n only 5ft 3 lol)

I love to smile and laugh and make others smile to :)

I have my tarot cards read alot

Im a trained manicurist and pedicurist (but hate feet :-S figure that one out lol )

Im kinda gothy looking always have been love wearing black and wear gothy makeup

Well there ya go randomness at its weirdest lol but that's me ....

Afternoon world lol ..I'm up n down like a yo yo @ the moment talk about mood highs n lows :-S
BUT hey that's all part of life i suppose ..isn't it ??
I really need to get away from things in my life and start again ..yet again just doing it im afraid and how ..who..wer ..n when lol
Arr sod it go with the flow i say ,don't like me don't talk to me then ,I'm not explaining myself to no one no more ..I'm me...the good bad n the ugly lol cant be anything more then just myself can i :)
Have a great week all xx

ATB - Made Of Glass

A change is coming I can sense it now
The weight is lifting and I'm sinking down
Birds are flying in the trees below
The tears are coming, I just let it go

If I could I'd hold this moment
If I could I'd make it last
Sometimes life just seems to shatter
Like we're made of glass

Breath on the water, dust in the sand
Make this moment last
Breath on the water, dust in the sand
We're all made of glass

I feel the wonder in my flesh and bones
I feel the hunger, will you take me home
Birds are flying in the trees below
The tears are coming, I just let it go

Sometimes life just seems to shatter
Like we're made of glass
If I could I'd hold this moment
If I could I'd make it last

Breath on the water, dust on the sand
Make this moment last
Breath on the water, dust on the sand
We're all made of glass

Today is a gift.... tomorrow a mystery.....yesterday is history

Thinking...

Alot of things have made me stop and think.. take stock of my life
Im in the driving seat so to speak ..yet i let it run away with its self
All false hope and wishes screw you up ,BUT it was me doing that to myself ive found no one made me feel that way i done it myself in my own head ,believed there was something that wasn't.
I spoke to a friend today and things they said made me think of myself the way i see life and how i care alot for people and i generally get hurt in the process.
I need to toughen up and forget about maybe and what ifs and enjoy the now ..i do but every now and again i slip back into my old self and it doesn't do anyone any good.
I have all that's important in my life at the moment and i should be very grateful :)

Right that last post was me feeling sorry for my self aka poor me syndrome as i call it lol ..i was a the bottom and when your there you cant see anything else BUT i think i needed to feel that way as today i do feel better ,i get very down and then some how get out of it just yesterday couldn't see anything else but blackness...

So im sorry for the down times i blog and do try not to just i think it helps me to sometimes to realise im a pratt lol i no that sounds odd but that's me lol

I need to see things ain't as bad as i think they are really

Have a good week all :) x x x

I'm really not in a happy place at the moment ... it usually passes but this one doesn't want to shift ..its annoying me big stylie ,i just cant get out of it
And don't see how i can ,itl pass as usual hopefully just this is taking longer then usual everything seems to be a crock of shit basically ,i don't wanna be around anyone or talk to anyone and by doing that its making me worse.
I don't want allot out of life..never have..just things start to go right and then turn tits up yet again ..that's life i no but give me a break please ..the crap times out number the good par usual
How do you completely change your life without it keep going back wards?
Ive changed so much of my life ..just i still feel its going backwards.
Arr well that's life i suppose cant expect all love n light all the time lol just at the moment i just cant take no more

Just be

You can travel the world
But you can't run away
From the person you are in your heart
You can be who you want to be
Make us believe in you
Keep all your light in the dark
If you're searching for truth
You must look in the mirror
And make sense of what you can see
Just be
Just be

They say learning to love yourself
Is the first step
That you take when you want to be real
Flying on planes to exotic locations
Won't teach you
How you really feel
Face up to the fact
That you are who you are
Nothing can change that belief
Just be
Just be

'cause now I know
It's not so far
To where I go
The hardest part
Is inside me
I need
To just be
Just be

Just be
Just be
Just be

I was lost
And I'm still lost
But I feel so much better

'cause now I know
It's not so far
To were I go
The hardest part
Is inside me
I need
To just be
Just be

You laugh at me because I'm different... I laugh at you because your all the same

- unknown